made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
