idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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