He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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