That's intense
Apparently you make a good broom.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
