glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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