everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
