On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
