READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
