I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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