worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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