Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
