She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
