Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
