i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
