the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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