My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
