He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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