i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
