she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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