i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
