now i know why i became what i already was.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
