and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He better not be in your backpack
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
