Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
