So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
