Whod you bang
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
