So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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