And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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