She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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