and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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