She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
