and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
wow bdsm is so cute
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