we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
