Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Randomize
