i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
