they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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