i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
