im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
