My hand turned me down
I don't think brook has ever known best
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
As shirtless as possible
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
