everyone is single if you try hard enough
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Randomize
