Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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