I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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