Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
