I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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