Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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