Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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