Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
