He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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