No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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