weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
