Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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