I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
